


My Reflection Wraps And Pulls Me Under

by Kitsy



Category: Boondock Saints (Movies), Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1965501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsy/pseuds/Kitsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is a crossover of the Supernatural and Boondock Saints universes. It takes place in an alternate sort of universe where an Apocalypse has come but it's taking it's time to finish the people who are left off. The Winchesters still travel together across America trying to survive and figure out if there's any hope left. The McManus Brothers are living with their Father in Ireland until something very out of the ordinary happens and they have to flee their home and go back to their second one in America. </p><p>A fanfic that I wrote like forever ago to set up a story I had planned. It was a crossover between BDS/SPN but I never finished. It's basically just here for book keeping purposes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Boy Builds Coffins

_It just wasn't fair, something had to have gone wrong. He thought he had done everything that had been asked of him. He gave up his crops, but he couldn't give everything. His family had to eat, he had to take care of everyone, not just himself. God could understand that right? He had to. For some reason though Cain couldn't get it out of his head. Things hadn't been the same since the sacrifice. He would give God everything if he could, he just couldn't keep back the thought that someday something would go wrong, that they would need the food that always laid on the altar, burning and wasted._

_The time he spent farming used to feel peaceful, now these thought consumed him. He worried that God and his family didn't understand. That the Lord was favoring Abel for not thinking ahead, for giving everything of himself. How could that not leave him empty? Cain couldn't understand that perfect faith. He was jealous, he'd admit it. Abel seemed so simple, so easy going. It was like he didn't have a thought in his head, not a single one._

_He was absorbed in these thoughts. The vines of darker thought. They seemed to be everywhere he turned. Abel's very existence making him sick. He didn't know how he had started thinking these thoughts they slithered their way in and made themselves at home. He couldn't see past the shadows anymore. It didn't feel wrong, it felt like he was powerful. He felt like being in touch with these thoughts had changed him into something stronger. Someone who could change._

_It was one of these days when he was standing alone, thinking about Abel that he felt something curling around his ankle. He had jumped and looked down to see a snake's tail curled around his ankle. A tiny green snake standing out against the brown of the dirt. Cain's eyebrows came together as he looked at the creature. He didn't feel fear, but his stomach felt uneasy and strange. He held on tight to the shovel and bent down to try and untangle it from around his ankle. Then he felt the snake start to twitch and he watched it with wide eyes. At first he couldn't tell what was happening, he couldn't process it. Then the snake started to change color into something that looked more like skin than scales and it got bigger. He pulled the snake from his ankle and tossed it away from himself. He tried to walk backwards but a chunk of dirt and rock caught against his foot and he hit the dirt hard._

_He pushed himself up then pushed himself backward deeper into the field. Dirt swirled up around him and he closed his eyes tightly when he saw the shadowy figure pushing back the grain and getting closer to him. "Cain. Don't run from me. I'm the only one who can help you." The voice was soothing, a velvet deep sound. He felt a hand come up under his chin. It felt strong, but it didn't hurt. He opened his eyes slowly to see a man. He was just a man, he didn't look out of the ordinary. If Cain hadn't just seen him as a snake he wouldn't have believed they were the same thing or that he was anything more than a man._

_"Who are you? What do you mean help me?" Cain heard his voice waver slightly in his ears and he saw the almost unnoticeable turn of the man's lips._

_"Who I am isn't particularly important Cain. The only thing we need to talk about is what I can do for you." The man let go of his chin and stood up. Cain stared up at him pulling his legs up against himself._

_"What are you talking about?" Cain felt a weird feeling twisting in his stomach._

_"I can relate to you Cain. I can understand why your thoughts have taken a dark turn. I'm the only one who will understand it. You want more don't you Cain?" His voice reached into a deeper part of Cain that hadn't been given the right to grow. A fire that only needed to be fanned._

_"Want more than what?" Cain felt a panic in his chest and he could hear it in his own voice._

_"You have a desire for more than what you have. A need to be recognized, to give people what they crave, what they need. You want a certainty."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about." Cain looked down away from the man. He was standing over him, casting a large shadow. Cain suddenly felt like he had been found out, like his darker thoughts had been written all over him. That he was going to be judged for them._

_"You know exactly what I'm talking about. It started with your brother. You feel like you're being ignored." The man's voice had venom in it. Cain knew the sound well. His own thoughts had taken on that tone. A sharp cut in his mind that came from pain. The pain of being forgotten, of being left behind._

_"How do you know...what I've been thinking?" Cain let go of his legs and he looked up to see the man crouched down in front of him. The man laid a hand on Cain's cheek again. He was sort of cold, like his body couldn't quite warm up to the right temperature._

_"Because it happened to me. Our Father may seem like he loves everyone but some of us don't quite feel it. He once cast me aside for others. I was never the same again, Cain. When I questioned what He wanted, when I wanted to choose my own path He cast me out. Just like He did to your mother."_

_"What do you mean my mother?" The man tilted his head and watched Cain's jaw clench with half lidded eyes._

_"Your family used to live in paradise Cain. Eve, your mother stepped too close to Him. She wanted to know more. Now...you live here. Where you have to break your back for the barest amount..."_

_"And then He wants me to give up what I have." Cain heard his voice hot and quick. He hadn't even finished the thought in his head before it had escaped out of his lips. The man's thumb brushed over his cheekbone_  
.  
"It doesn't seem very fair does it? That you can't feel his love but he is always asking for more from you. Then you give him everything, and he still sees Abel before you." The man gave him a small sad smile, a worried look. Cain didn't even feel the need to ask how he knew. This man seemed to know everything about him, like he was a part of him. "Then He casts out the people who ask for more. He sent your mother into the desert. He'll do the same to you Cain. The exact same. He doesn't have much room for people who question Him." 

_Cain sat there for a long moment. He sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth and looked at the man in front of him. He was completely focused on Cain. He hadn't felt so much attention in a long time. This man understood him, body, soul and all those dark thoughts he'd been terrified to say out loud. Now he was reassured, he wasn't the only one that felt wronged. He wasn't the only one who was actually thinking._

_"You said you could help me...what did you mean?" He spoke tentatively but there was a strength behind it. The strength of ideas finally being given a voice. The man smiled and caught Cain's hands in his own._

_"I can give you everything you want Cain. You can ask me anything. You can question me. My love for you would never change Cain. We could change this world, for the better. We could give everyone something special. Something different." The man pulled Cain up off of his feet, and he followed him his hands holding tighter onto the man's. Cain bit hard on his bottom lip as he looked at the man._

_Cain's eyes trailed over the man's features. This man sounded like he knew what he was talking about. There was a fire in his eyes, a passion that felt contagious. Cain felt the excitement build inside him, like the brighter future was around the corner just hiding out of his view. He just needed a guide to get there. This man said he could help him, Cain knew that no one else would understand, but this man spoke with the pain Cain felt._

_"Why would you do this for me? What can I do for you?" Cain gripped onto the man's hand harder as his other hand came up to rest on Cain's cheek. The man caressed his cheek and he felt warmer, he felt acknowledged, loved, cared for. In that single tiny gesture the man had Cain's heart. He could have asked him for anything, the young man would have moved mountains to let him know what he felt now._

_"Cain, you aren't doing things for me. You're doing it for everyone." The man leaned in closer to Cain and pushed Cain forward with the hand on his cheek. "We're going to make this world you want real Cain." His voice got quieter and Cain leaned in closer to him he felt the man's cold breath on his face and he felt relieved._

_"I'll do anything." Cain looked in the man's eyes and he felt something flame alive inside of him. He could barely think. His voice was breathy and he saw a full smile break out across the man's face._

_"Cain..." The man moved in closer his mouth against Cain's cheek as he spoke. "The only thing you have to do for me is make a small sacrifice and a few deals." The man moved back and Cain's eyes were wide with reverence as he looked at the other man._

_"Everything. Anything." Cain's brow furrowed as he looked at the man wanting more, wanting something. Some sort of physical representation of his vow. The man pulled him forward and his lips brushed against Cain's. The young man held onto the other tightly as he felt his heart beat harder and faster. Then the man pulled away and he talked against Cain's lips._

_"Then you will have everything I will give you, Cain."_


	2. I'm Watching You Descend I'm Hovering Instead

It hadn't been easy to leave home. It was what they had been used to for a few years now. Their Dad had taken care of them and they had been living an easy quiet life. One where gunfire wasn't as ordinary as coffee in the morning. It had been long enough that they thought they had forgotten what a gun felt like and what it felt like to take a life, though that was something they could never quite put out of their minds. Just when they thought things had gotten easy, livable and right again the world had taken a turn towards Hell. Their Father had been lost so quickly. It had only taken one night to change absolutely everything.

Connor and Murphy had come up to porch after making their last rounds on the farm. They had gotten so used to the routine it didn't seem odd compared to the city ones anymore. It always felt like second nature to them. They had come back up onto the porch and their Da had been sitting on one of the chairs with a large cigar. Everything had seemed normal until he looked up at them. A slow look with a sinister smile. His eyes were completely black a shine played off of the dark eyes in the night. 

Connor had felt a cold chill down his back and it sent shivers up his spine. He wasn't sure what it meant or what this was, he just knew it was wrong. All the way down to his bones he knew it was wrong. He felt his stomach twist the instant he saw those dark eyes. He had frozen solid, he was sure even his heart had stopped in that moment. He felt like he couldn't draw a breath. The smile only got worse it looked like it might break his Father's face as it got wider. Everything was slow and frozen but that smile, a rueful satisfied smile.

Time went back to normal as Murphy walked up the last step towards their Father.

"Da...what's wrong with your..." Murphy's voice was cautious and Connor was already up a step to grab him back down them when their Father stood up and landed a backhand slap that hit Murphy's cheek with a snapping noise and a loud surprised grunt from Murphy. Connor mouth fell open in surprise and he moved himself with barely a thought. He positioned himself between their Father and his brother. His jaw was clenched hard.  
"You boys...have always been such a gift." The voice sounded like their Dad's but the cold venom that hung on the words didn't come from him. It came from a dark and dirty place deep inside of him. Connor could hear Murphy getting up off the ground behind him but he didn't chance a look.

"Da...what's goin on?" Connor could hear the weakness in his own voice, the worry and the fear. Murphy got closer behind him one of his hands on his brothers back the other pressed tight to his shirt holding the cross of his necklace over his heart. Connor could feel his heart hit against his chest with every beat. Their father walked down towards him and put a hand under his chin and pressed his fingers into Connor's cheek and jaw hard. Harder than he should have been able to. Connor's eyebrows furrowed and he tried to clench is jaw against the force of his Father's hand.

"Don't worry dear Connor. I'm just here to get you in the game. Nothing is going to happen to you boys. Today anyway." He pressed harder into Connor's jaw for a moment then let go of his face with a shove. Connor's head snapped to the side as he did it. Connor felt the pain flash up the side of his neck with a burning heat. He held his ground though as he felt his Da slide something into his hand. His eyes went wide as his fingers slid up the cold slick metal of a gun. Murphy's fingers dug into Connor's shoulder hard when he spotted the shine of the gun.  
"No Connor..." His voice trailed off when the man he had thought was his Father landed another hit hard across his other cheek. He hit the ground with a thud not ready for the attack. Connor's hand slid tighter onto the gun his finger knocking the safety into the 'off' position. It was just like riding a bike. He could already feel his out of use muscles flexing, counting seconds and judging distance.

"The only thing you boys have to worry about is your dear old Da." The man was closer to Murphy now, hovering over him, he was moving in for the kill. Connor could see it, the movements. He knew what he should do, what his instincts were screaming at him to do. Kill Him. Everything was telling him it couldn't be their Da, not the man who was taking care of them and giving them the peace they'd needed. Connor looked at Murphy's eyes and they were panicked and scared. His tattooed hands reaching up to keep the man back. Connor's eyes narrowed and went cold as the man's hands wrapped around his brother's left and bent his ring finger back hard with a snap.

Connor moved without a thought his arm moving smoothly to lift the gun up and point it at the back of his Father's head. Connor hesitated for a second. In that span of times the thing's hands had moved. One was wrapped tight around Murphy's throat and the other one held onto his wrist tightly. Connor could see the white of the creature's knuckles. Connor's clicked back the hammer and when Murphy made a choking noise he pulled the trigger. There was a moment when his Father stopped moving and black smoke curled up out of his mouth violently. The body dropped and hit Murphy. The shorter haired brother knelt down and checked on his twin.

"Ya alright Murph?" Connor reached for his brother's hand and Murphy pulled back slightly then let Connor check on his finger. Murphy lifted his head to watch the black cloud of smoke trail off into nothing.  
"What the fuck was that Connor? That wasn't...right...is Da.." Murphy's voice trailed off and he pulled his hand away from his brother. The longer haired twin grab his Father's body and rolled it over onto it's back. The hole was straight through his head and blood was everywhere. Murphy's face went blank for a few seconds and he looked down at himself and noticed the darker wet spots on his clothes. His eyes went wide and he swallowed hard. Connor had stood back up and was turned away from him. 

Connor was trying to contain himself. He hadn't had another choice, he had to kill whatever it was. He couldn't keep all of it in his head. It was all too much at once. Something...someone...had been inside their Father and now he was dead in the grass blood pooling around him. He was staring at the house trying to get the image of the gun out of his head, of the bullet flying through her swallowed hard and turned back around.

Murphy was shaking, tears coming down his face. Connor knew he needed to get his brother away from him and they needed to get. Murphy looked up at him and bit his lip.

"What's going on Connor?"

"I don't know Murph, but we aren't safe here anymore."

_________________________________

"The world isn't what it used to be Sammy." Dean sighed out the statement as he loaded some gas cans into the trunk of the impala. Sam looked up at Dean as he handed him one.

"Well that's fairly obvious don't you think Dean? The apocolypse passing? Monsters everywhere?" Sam's eyebrows raised as he looked at his brother.

"That's not what I meant. That's pretty much business as usual. I just don't even remember the last time I had pie. That's depressing." Dean slammed the lid of the trunk down and Sam shook his head and walked to the passenger side of the car. He watched Dean walk up to the door and didn't open his until Dean was opening his to get in. Dean looked around them for a second a more serious look on his face before he slid into the car. Sam pulled his door shut and looked at Dean.

"Really? Monsters? People dying more and more every day? And you're upset...about pie?" Dean closed his door and put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on and started to drive away from the abandoned gas station. They were lucky there had been anything there, most of the places like that were picked clean.  
"It's the little things you gotta love and miss Sammy." Dean turned the radio up slightly as he settled into driving. He glanced over at Sam looking out the window. Dean's eyes lifted to the window and he bit his bottom lip then licked it as he looked back ahead of him. He turned the music up a little bit louder. They could hardly turn up music these days. They always had to play on the safer side. The Impala made enough noise on its own without the radio to project sound. They'd found that out early on. That was another thing Dean missed.

The world had gone south despite their best efforts. The apocalypse had come and gone, at least the big part of it. All they were left with at the end was the choice to fight or put a bullet between their eyes. The Winchesters, like every other time they'd been presented with a similar choice, picked fighting. The two brothers were soldiers and they always had been. They swore to themselves that they would never accept that the world around them was heading towards an end and most likely a tragic violent one. There was always something that could be done. There was always some last ditch effort they could make and swing in to save it. It had just been...a damn long time before they had a lead of any kind as to how they could fix this.

There were still people just not nearly as many of them, it was like all those zombie movies people had loved came true, but far worse than anyone could have expected. Instead of zombies there was a various assortment of other bad things to choose from, not that there weren't zombies too. Hell, some cities were damn near impossible to get through some of those because of the rising population. Too many people were dying and way too many survivors wanted their family back and were determined to have them back. Most people however didn't quite understand that they would come back wrong. All the black magic, monsters, and any other supernatural creature had been unleashed on the world. Just that had killed many, the rest were getting picked off by the people left behind. All of the people that hadn't been ready for that sort of power.

They were making their way through Massachusetts at this point. It wasn't a place that had been ripped apart completely yet. The brothers had needed to get some gas so a bigger city had a better chance of abandoned cars and supplies. It was a give and take though, larger cities meant people had already picked clean lots of it. However, most of those people may have died and left all the things they had gathered behind. In fact maybe wasn't really a question. People had died and they did leave everything behind. It was still daylight and they needed to find a place to bunk down before the real darkness hit.

They were going through an older part of Massachusetts. These old neighborhood full of old houses turned out to be sturdier than the new apartments and fully loaded suburban places. These houses had proved they could hold together through almost anything. It's where the Winchesters always headed. There were also fewer bodies around in those houses. They pulled up to one that only looked mostly damaged. Dean pulled the car around the back as Sam turned the radio down. 

They kept their eyes on the house as Dean shut down the car. they always waited, hands tight on weapons and eyes on the windows. Dean's eyebrows pushed together but he turned and nodded to Sam. He had an odd feeling about this for some reason. Some sort of instinct running up the back of his neck. They were already cutting it kinda close as it was. They needed to bunk down and get their supplies moved. Sam opened his door slowly and hoped it wouldn't creak. Dean got out of his own side of the car. 

They grabbed a few weapons and headed inside with their guns already drawn. Dean went first, like he always did and Sam followed behind him and pulled the door shut. The place was dusty with the sun cutting in through in the roof. Dean held his gun up and stopped for a moment. He listened to the silence of the house around them as Sam looked around the kitchen they had walked into. Their wasn't any food, not that Sam had really expected there to be. There might be some cans in the closet. They'd have to investigate when they knew the house was clear. 

Dean looked at him and gestured him to follow. They moved through the first floor quickly and then went up the stairs slowly. There were a few creaky steps but they weren't too loud. They moved through the second floor quickly too. They moved into a bedroom and Sam's nose crinkled and Dean cut back a choke in his throat. There were two bodies on the bed, decaying with a gun laying between them. Sam swallowed hard but slipped his Dad's journal out of his back pocket and knelt down next to the bed. Dean half glared at him and turned around towards the closet. 

Sam whispered a resting rite under his breath. Dean had always said it was pointless. That a prayer for bodies was too late and if they were going to rise again they would have already. There enough monsters that a prayer here or there wouldn't help a body. Sam thought it help them keep their humanity. He looked at Dean out of the corner of his eye as his brother checked the closet. Sam turned his eyes back to the book and read off a few more lines half under his breath. He stood up and Dean walked over next to him and gave him an irritated look then grabbed the gun from the bed and slid it into the back of his jeans. Sam huffed at him but followed him back out of the room and held his gun up. 

The other rooms were empty besides ratty blankets and old furniture. They could come back for the wood later to build a fire if they could take the risk and if the night got too cold. The two brothers moved towards the door in the kitchen that was half open and lead down to the basement. Even though the two boys knew better than almost anyone that monsters could be anywhere, basements could still send a cold chill down their spines. The darkness, the cold and the shadows that could be empty or full of something they'd never want to meet in the day let alone while trapped in a basement. 

Dean stepped on the first step and the wood creaked loudly in the basement. They heard a rustle and the click of a hammer on a gun and stopped dead. Dean cocked his gun and Sam followed suit a second later. Dean went down the next few steps quickly and turned towards the noise of boots on the concrete floor. They spotted two men. One stood with his gun pointed at them while the other was stretching to his full height and had pulled out his gun. The bigger one stopped and put a hand out to stop the man behind him.   
Sam's eyebrows came together as he looked at them. Dean's jaw was clenched tight as he squeezed his gun tighter. He pulled his lips back from his teeth slightly as he looked at the two of them. 

Connor wasn't sure why he stopped Murphy from firing. He just felt something. The two men stood close together. when one moved the other drifted towards him. They had details of their movements that were shared between them, just little things. They moved...like brothers. He knew what it looked like. He and Murph moved the same way. He swallowed hard and lowered his gun. They were armed, and they seemed smart. They'd been there to check the basement, just like he and his brother had been there for. The shorter man lowered his gun and Murphy moved forward next to Connor. Murphy licked his bottom lip and watched as the taller man lowered his gun as well. He smirked a little and lifted his free hand to rub the skin under his lip.

"Well, fancy meeting someone else here." Murphy spoke quietly and Dean lowered his gun slowly. Ghosts, demons and other dark creatures weren't the only thing that was dangerous. People were too, almost just as bad if not worse. Connor still held onto his gun and he narrowed his eyes for a second before he let it drop further. Dean let out a low rumble in his throat but Sam walked passed him and Dean let his gun drop further. 

The older Winchester wasn't quite sure he trusted random people they met in a basement but they hadn't shot them when they had the chance. That was enough to allow a conversation and not fire on sight. He didn't like Sam being in front of them and headed in their direction so he followed him the rest of the way down the stairs. He cleared his throat and moved to stand slightly in front of Sam. He looked at the man with the shorter hair, straight in the eyes then spoke.

"That's what you get in such prime real estate."


End file.
